Things I would totally do (not in that way) (well, maybe)

Okay, so, I don't know how many of y'all know this, but Albertson's has the best freaking store-made chocolate chip cookies ever. Not even joking. They're AMAZING. I don't even know why- they aren't that great. Maybe they put MSG in them. Can they even do that? I dunno. Maybe it's crack. That's what I would do if I were trying to sell cookies. Clearly, it works, and either nobody's noticed, or they got the police force hooked first. And that's what I would do, definitely.

So I love how in the state of Washington, talking on a cell phone while driving is a secondary offense. Meaning that if I were to be speeding, and the officer pulls me over for that, he could totally give me a ticket for speeding and a ticket for talking on my phone. This seems stupid to me. Why not just make it a primary offense? Not that I like that idea, but the whole going half way just seems really lame to me. Now see, if I were a cop, I would totally pull up next to someone talking on their phone, and if they didn't notice me and stop, I would accelerate slowly. Cell phone drivers tend to match speeds with whoever is next to them(which is why I don't like them), so I would start speeding myself(cause cops can do that, right?) and then once we were both going fast enough, I would totally pull them over. SCORE.

Not that I, you know, hate cell phones or anything. I really don't. I love them. I love mine. I love how I can take mine for a swim in a lake and after sitting in a bag of rice for a few days, go back to using it. (just to clarify, it was the PHONE that was sitting in a bag of rice. Not me. In case you were confused.) Except the power button doesn't work. Which pretty much sucks. But whatever. There are two power buttons, so I just use the inside one. The rest of the phone is mostly fine.